Satiating intimacy and a lifetime of being emotionally secure in your personal life, is what drives men and women alike, to try their luck on the dating scene over and over, until they find the right person. Once they’ve found someone they can see themselves go down the road with, both partners steadfastly remain on their best behavior during the early phases of the relationship; they happily overlook the partner’s flaws, irksome habits and view their relationship through rose-tinted glasses.
At some point, real life as we know it, gets in the way and off come those rose tinted glasses! Here’s where relationships are truly tested: many relationships mature and evolve beautifully whereas many come precariously close to being on the tethers. There are reasons galore for relationships floundering: constantly being on best behavior can make one weary, a partner’s idiosyncrasies seem more annoying. But mostly, the humdrum of daily routines and responsibilities, career and family obligations and the tendency to take the other person for granted, can make seemingly perfect and compatible relationships go off the rails.
Lack of effective communication makes partners feel distant and before you know it, cynicism has crept in. Nothing resolves relationship troubles like good old communication; if you’re hesitant or unsure of how to initiate dialogue, schedule some private time and initiate conversation with some mushy questions to make your partner comfortable. If you’re at a bit of loss for words, we’re here to help! Here’s an excellent list of questions for couples to try out for some stimulating conversation:
Start with warm, feel good conversations; try these romantic questions for couples:
1. What do you love the most about me? When we are together, what do you find most blissful of our private time?
2. Do you remember our earliest trysts? Our early dates or our sizzling chemistry – what are your most cherished memories?
3. What do you think is the most amazing thing we’ve ever done or shared as a couple? Do you think we should make more time for it and do it more often?
4. When we are being physically intimate, what do find most pleasurable?
Slowly and delicately, move on to questions for some soul searching as a couple:
5. What’s your definition of a happy relationship? Do you think we are doing everything that we should to have a happy, secure and mutually satisfying relationship?
6. Are you as happy as you expect to be in a relationship? Do you have some needs or expectations, that I don’t know of or am not aware of how some of your needs mean to you?
7. What are our failings as a couple? Do you think our temperaments are compatible or are they sometimes incompatible? Can we without hesitation express what traits we dislike about each other so we can have a more friction free equation?
8. What do I do or say that really annoys you, but you’ve never told me? Can you tell me what you dislike most and maybe explain why?
9. Are you sexually satisfied in our relationship? Do we need to spice things up in the bedroom?
10. Do you see us together ten years from now? What kind of life do you think we would have at that point in time?
If parties sense their partners have some grievances or issues regarding the relationship or their respective partner, here are some more questions for couples that can help you with constructive discussions to put your relationship back on track:
11. Do you think it is time for us to think about having a family? If not, should we adopt a pet and see how we feel about having children a year or two down the line?
12. Do we spend enough time together? If yes, are you happy with how we spend our private time? If not, what would you like to do differently – should we pick an activity or hobby that we could enjoy as a couple?
13. Do you think you get enough me-time for your friends, hobbies and other interests? If not, what would you like to change, so we both get our much needed me-time without compromising on our private time?
14. How can we make our sex life more exciting? Can we do things differently; newer places, a change of ambiance and be more confiding in the other of what we don’t like or want more in the bedroom?
15. Lastly, for the future, can we promise ourselves to never stop communicating and make that little effort to sit down to talk each other everyday…even if just for a few minutes?
We hope you will shed your nervousness or reluctance and take the first step to communicate with your partner with the help of our questions; sometimes a lull or dullness in the relationship is often due to minor grievances or bottled up feelings that your partner is hesitant to convey to you. And all it takes is some candid and intimate conversations to restore the vitality in your relationship and the feeling of being in sync with each other.
Check out the book review of “1000 questions for couples” here.