I would like to get some information related to counseling for couples, because my husband and I aren’t seeing eye to eye lately and we’ve only been married 5 years – Christie, Long Beach, CA
What are the Benefits of Counseling for Couples?
The reasons why couples go in search of counseling are varied as they are unique, and admitting that you need help is usually a step in the right direction. Getting an expert opinion about where the relationship is going will help to steer it into a better place. Unfortunately a counselor isn’t a person with a magic hat that produces all the answers, but they do know how to handle relationship issues. While you and your partner might be blind to other perspectives, a counselor can shed some light on why there is so much tension or misunderstanding.
When to Start Counseling for Couples?
For some couples it should start from the moment they meet, but for most there isn’t a specific time. It all depends on the situation and how much effort you are willing to put into the relationship. Numerous couples start before any trouble can arise, simply because they want to avoid typical pitfalls. Others prefer to weather the storm on their own before seeking help. However, the problem with waiting too long is that it can cause permanent damage and it’s much easier to keep a clean slate, rather than trying to wash off all the dirt if you know what I mean. There is a reason why the divorce rate is so high, and it’s mostly due to couples that don’t take action soon enough.
Where can you find Counseling for Couples?
This is by far the easiest part. It’s safe to say that getting your partner on board with the counseling idea might be a lot tougher. A simple Google search or telephone index can provide a long list of qualified counselors in your area. Another good idea is to find out from your friends or family if they can refer you to somebody they may have used in the past.
Does Counseling for Couples actually Work?
Once again it all depends on the people involved. If you and your partner are completely committed to fixing the relationship then there is no reason why a few sessions can do wonders. However, if participation only comes from one party then its effectiveness might not be serving the purpose. For this reason it’s very important that both of you are willing to share, work and debate with honesty and trust before you enter any counseling. Like the old saying goes, you can drag your husband in front of the washing machine, but you can’t make him wash the load. Unfortunately the same goes for the wife.
How do I get my Partner to Participate?
The best way is to simply ask and if it takes a little convincing then tell them they get to say whatever they like without having to face normal consequences. Counseling sessions are specifically designed to provide a “safe zone” for couples to communicate in and if your partner still doesn’t want to come to the party then maybe it’s time to start one without them.