She Refused To Wear An Engagement Ring But Said Yes – Part 1
Abie: So, welcome back to Love Nurture and welcome back to our channel as you know every time we try to bring out really great stuff this year is the year of relationships and our motto is to change the world one relationship at a time so here today we have Emily, Emily meet our audience.
Emily: Hello everyone
Abie: Today we are going to talk to Emily because she has a really fascinating story about, just about the love in her life and I don’t want to spoil it by saying anything else but I just have a few questions written down on the paper here just to go through with Emily so please bear with her as it is her first time on camera and we’ll take it from here. So Emily you are about to get married at the end of August and Emm, I guess the first question our audience would like to know is how did you guys meet?
Emily: It’s a very good place to start. Well, we both went to Southern Adventist University.
Abie: Umm, awesome!
Emily: We met in the fall of 2007.
Abie: Wow! That’s 8 years ago.
Emily: 8 years ago. I don’t actually remember the very moment I met him.
Abie: Okay good.
Emily: Neither one of us do. He was just always there, I was always there.
Emily: We remember where we met though. We met, we were both part of the 6 am prayer group, we met at the flag pole. An d then we will all go and eat breakfast. It was a small group but it was a lot of good memories there, Emm we have a really early start to our day at college, meet at the flag pole and pray together, sing a few songs then we would go and eat breakfast. And that’s where I met him.
Abie: That’s a very interesting story. So people always think that you have to meet people like online, in a pub or at a party but there are more interesting ways to meet.
Emily: 6 am at a prayer group is the best place.
Abie: Much more interesting places to meet your so called love of your life.
Emily: I might add something to that, the first, one of the first memories of Joel is his kind spirit and generosity. I had the day before accidently dropped my cellphone into the toilet. I don’t know how it happened. It was in my pocket and it slipped out. It was a sad story so at the prayer group I sad guys we need to pray for my phone, it’s soaking in some rice hoping it will dry out but I will probably need a new phone and it wasn’t time for renewal. Anyway, and he just took his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me. He said here have my phone and I said I don’t want to take your phone, you keep your phone, he said no today I’m getting an upgrade, a new one is coming in the mail. Take my phone.
Abie: That is so sweet.
Emily: Yeah, that shows how sweet he is. and it was very kind I did not like him at the time, he was this really great guy, but I actually kept that phone, it’s still in a box somewhere. And I am not even a collector sought of person.
Abie: That is a very interesting story. Oh wow!! My goodness. I know as teenagers you love to, like some guys touch you or your T-shirt or whatever it is and you don’t want to wash your clothes or whatever, something silly but wow a story about the phone to keep it for years and years and years.
Emily: It does not work anymore.
Abie: It’s one of those for the museum, definitely. The next question might be no but was it love at first sight?
Abie: Some people believe that it has to be love at first sight in order for you to meet the person of your dreams but that is not necessarily the case.
Emily: No, but I, I really knew he was a great guy and as I got to know him through the years, I began to have thoughts like, hmmm, like he’s a nice guy, I would mind if he liked me some day, I don’t think that I am ready for that right now but I would be okay with that.
Abie: Cool. Do you think that he is your soulmate?
Emily: That’s a dangerous question to ask.
Abie: Maybe, I should ask a question before that, do you believe in soul mates?
Emily: Yes and no.
Abie: Okay, please explain.
Emily: I do believe he is my soul mate, however, I believe he is my soul mate once I have chosen to marry him. I probably could have married someone else and they would have been my soul mate. But yes, I do believe that God has put him into my life and has chosen him to be my mate therefore he is my soul mate.
Abie: A lot of people believe that there is only one person on earth for them, like Emily said I don’t believe that, I do believe that you can have a soul mate and once the two of you decide to be companions for life that person is your soul mate. Obviously the two of you have to be best friends first otherwise it just wouldn’t work out. so there isn’t neccessary one specific person who is a specific height which probably leads me to the other question, at what point did your realise that he was the one for you?
Emily: Actually, he knew before I knew.
Abie: Typical male
Emily: About half a year before I came to that conclusion. I can of lean in that direction. But it wasn’t until I was here in Ireland. My friends realised it before I realised it.
Abie: That’s always the case.
Emily: They were pointing it out to me saying “Emily do you know what you just did there?” What did I say, “You said not if we get married, but when we get married” Oh, I guess I did say that. Yeah, I guess he’s the one you want to marry.
Abie: Tha’t good that is really good.
Okay, so here comes the really interesting part of the story. So Emily and Joel decided not to do an engagement ring. Why is that?
Emily: Well, you can see, I can confirm it, there’s no ring. I actually would have been okay with one. I don’t think that it is necessarily right or wrong. It was something that we personally chose not to go for. It was for a few different reasons. I didn’t want him to spend a lot of money and I guess the bottom line was it wasn’t necessary, neither one of our parents had wedding bands or wedding rings. My older brother and his wife, they don’t but my sister does. so I was okay either way but I am not use to wearing rings and I will be working as a Nurse again real soon and I wouldn’t be wearing it at work anyway because will be pulled off in my gloves. So part of it too is there is a verse in 1 Peter 3:3,4 ‘Don not let your adornment be merely outward, arranging your hair wearing old and putting on fine apparel. Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a quiet spirit which is very precious in the sight of God.” Of course it says that’s not merely the adornment we should have, it’s the heart that matters. I think it can be some of both but what’s most important is what’s in the heart. The other thing was to maybe we are being a little bit rebellious and making a statement to our culture we are told that the ring is a sign of loyalty and commitment but I think that we can all agree that a ring does not make a marriage last. Now, just because it does not make you loyal it does not mean that you shouldn’t have a ring. It does not have to go the other way either. But for us we want it to be more than that therefore the ring is not being the focal point. and whenever Joel did ask me to marry him he gave me a very beautiful gift, I am holding it right now so you can see. It is a bible. It is actually my favourite bible that I’ve had for years and he had it rebound and put my future last name in good hopes that I would say yes. But when he gave it to me this was a symbol of commitment. To include Christ as part of that commitment because without him we aren’t capable of making anything last.