The five love languages were first presented by Gary Chapman in his book of the same title. Basically, what he teaches is that we all have different love languages because we grow up with the understanding of love that we learn from our parents. As different parents express and receive love differently, we all end up with different love languages. When you get married or get into a relationship, it is up to you to find out your spouse’s love language so that you can speak to them in it.
What does that mean?
The best way to explain it is through examples. There are some women who feel most loved when their spouse buys them presents. That is what they saw Daddy do for Mummy and it made her happy. If, on the other hand, a woman saw her mother reject her father’s gifts, they may not think of gifts as an expression of love. For men, it could be that they observed that their fathers felt most loved when they were allowed to watch a football match on TV in peace – mum would provide drinks and snacks and withdraw so that he could enjoy the game. If he marries a woman who is always nagging him during a game it is quite possible that he will feel that he is not loved.
What are the 5 love languages?
There are five love languages and you need to know them so that you can know which one your partner understands best. The first is words of affirmation. Sometimes all a person needs to hear is you tell them that you appreciate them, that you appreciate the little things they do for you. If your husband takes out the trash every day how about you tell them thank you and that you really appreciate that he does that for you?
The second love language is quality time. There are people who love nothing more than to spend quality time with their partner. They want to lock themselves away together for a few days and just be alone. The third love language is gifts which we already talked about. The fourth is acts of service. Do you know something that your spouse finds tedious but they have to do it anyway? Why not do it for them? The last love language is physical touch which is almost universal – we all need to be touched but some people need it more than others.
If your spouse loves to cuddle why not set aside some time to cuddle them every so often?