Marriage retreats in Neverland?

Category: Marriage, Relationships 38 0

Father and sonLast week, many of those who tuned in to hate-watch Peter Pan Live on NBC were sorely disappointed because the production did not turn out to be nearly as terrible as most people expected.

Starring Allison Williams of Girls in the title role and Christopher Walken as Captain Hook, the show was expected to be a disaster, but it ended up being a pleasant surprise. Both actors performed beautifully in their own way throughout the entire three-hour live television show.

The only problem might have been the gaudy and amateurish set design of the revival, but Neverland is supposed to be a little strange and childish, isn’t it? For some men, Neverland might even be the ideal marriage retreat!

Let’s get down to business. With the show recently airing, we couldn’t help but think of the so-called “Peter Pan Syndrome” that so many adult men seem to have. This occurs when the idea of growing up just doesn’t seem to take hold in some young men as they drift from job to job, live with parents, and play video games. Forever.

How can you get your husband to grow up? Well, it isn’t by smacking him on the head, that’s for sure!

When a man has comfortably settled into being a grown child, there is one thing wives can do: stop enabling him. Whether they realize it or not, many wives are enabling their husbands in being permanent Peter Pans.

If you think you might be enabling this Peter Pan behavior, take a look at three different areas where you could be going wrong:

  • Disrespectful behavior: Does your hubby make embarrassing jokes about you in front of others? Does he have tantrums when you try to have an adult conversation? Is his smartphone surgically attached to his hand while you are trying to have dinner? If so, he’s pushing his boundaries and you’ve got to stop letting him. Draw the line and don’t let him poke fun of you. Leave the room if he can’t have a grown-up discussion. Don’t speak until he has put that phone down.
  • Disconnected from the household: It is not unreasonable to expect your husband to participate in household chores and carry some of the responsibility. Whether it’s bathing the kids, picking up groceries, or washing the dishes, he’s got to pitch in. If you don’t make him participate, you are enabling this behavior. Simply tell him you need his help around the house and let him know how he can help. That’s all there is to it.
  • He’s your kid’s best buddy: If you’ve got kids and he’s more of a friend than a father to them, it is going to cause problems. This kind of behavior creates confusing boundaries for the children and also makes your husband another one of the “kids” – and if you wanted to have another baby, you’d probably have done so by now! Have a conversation. It’s well worth it.

So, did you marry Peter Pan? How are you handling it? Perhaps you’ve gone on some marriage retreats to reconnect or sought counseling? Are you an enabler?

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