One of the biggest failures today is the institution of marriage divorce rates are 50% and climbing. If this was a regular business it would have long since closed its doors who can afford to lose 50% and survive? And yet we continue to go into marriage like its business as usual. Its like it is a kind of glue and we are helpless flies we simply cannot stop ourselves.
Why do marriages fail?
The primary reason why marriages fail is expectations. We go in not knowing enough about the other person, expecting them to behave like they did during courtship. One of the most important questions for couples before marriage is What is the worst thing I know about the other person? If all you can come up with is flowers and honey and kisses then you are not qualified to be married. To be a successfully married couple you have to know the worst thing that your spouse is capable of. You have to know them at their worst and vice versa. This way, there are no lofty ideals to hold them to and when things go wrong it becomes much easier to forgive.
What am I looking for in this marriage?
If you are looking for someone to take away your loneliness then you are not ready for marriage. Only YOU can take away your loneliness. You should be looking for someone to share life with. What do you hope to get out of the marriage that is minus all the romance, flowers and sequins that so often blind us. If you take those away most of us are looking for companionship, a family, financial stability and lets face it, we are looking for someone to grow old with. If you define what you are looking for then the other things that in the way are just fluff that you can both work on without damaging your relationship.
Are you ready to make a commitment every day?
Marriage takes an AA approach for it to work one day at a time. If you wake up each morning and make a silent commitment to your marriage you will be better able to handle any obstacles that may come your way. The most important question is, do you think you can do this?
