All relationships have their ups and downs, right? While this is partially true, there are some surprising signs that indicate that you might actually need to take part in couples counseling.
If any of these things apply to you, you might need to call the professionals…
You’re lashing out – at the dog.
OK, so it doesn’t have to be the dog. It can be your cat. Or rabbit. Or neighbors. Or kids. Or appliances. When you are in an unhappy relationship, you’re going to lash out and you might not even realize it. In such situations, displacement is common – and it feels good to blame someone or something else for your unhappiness. But remember, anger isn’t the only sign that you might need some professional help – overeating, crying, fatigue, and sleep problems can all be signs of a marriage in trouble.
He doesn’t call you anymore.
Sure, texting is more convenient, but if that’s the only way your husband is keeping in touch with you, he might be unhappy in the marriage. This more detached approach is less personal than talking on the phone. This can be confusing because women often see a text as a way of keeping in touch, but often men are using it to avoid actual connection. So, if you’re only receiving text messages, you may want to take a deeper look at what’s going on.
You can predict freak-outs.
It’s good when a couple really knows each other: it feels good when there’s another person on the planet that really gets you. But, if you find yourself bracing for the worst and having thoughts like, “I just know she’s/he’s going to flip,” you might be looking at a self-fulfilling prophecy. In other words, if you expect a certain reaction to a conflict, you may just be eliciting it.
You’ve got heart problems.
No, we’re not talking about love – studies have shown that when spouses have marital problems, they also have physical reactions. If a spouse perceives his or her partner to be supportive and loving, they typically have better cardiovascular health. So, if you aren’t happy in your marriage, get some help – it may just save your life.