Is this you sitting gloomily across from your shrink trying to explain why your relationship is going to bits? I have tried everything but I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Its like there is nothing I can get right when it comes to our relationship. Its not that we do not love each other because I know that we do. Its just that most times it seems like we at opposite ends when really what we both want is to feel a lot more satisfied with our relationship.
Well, guess what? That’s you and most other couples out there. What you (and they) don’t realize is that everyone has their language of love and unless you do not talk to them in it you may as well be speaking Greek (if they don’t know Greek of course!).
The 5 languages of love
Knowing yourself is as important as knowing your partner. Everyone has a language of love that they understand. There are five languages of love and it is unusual to find two people in a relationship who speak the same language. Before you get all frustrated about your relationship it is important to understand which of the following five languages of love your spouse speaks best:
Words of Affirmation there are those who respond best when you say thank you even for the smallest things. They feel acknowledged.
Acts of service these are people who feel most appreciated when you do things with them or for them. They feel that you acknowledge their role in the relationship.
Gifts some people respond best to gifts. Their spouse may not say thanks, help them but when they get a gift they feel that they are loved and appreciated.
Quality time the people who respond to this language of love may suffer in the modern world where there isnt much time to spend with spouses. If your partner is like this they will not be happy until you make some time to spend with them.
Physical touch is important for all of us but there are some for whom it is more important than others.
How do you know your partners language?
You already know them pretty well so you may know what they best respond to. If you feel that you are not getting things right why not just broach the subject of the 5 languages of love with them?