Gaining the love of the person you want isn’t as easy as one might think. There are a great many factors to consider, first of which is the really getting the love you want for you. This is not to say that there are times that you just know. There are also times that this is a passing desire. Harville Hendrix’s getting the love you want exercises outlines ways to accomplish this goal.
Being genuine is step 1. You must be the person that you are. This keeps the delusions from settling in. It really does break down to if he can’t accept who you are, you don’t need him. The truth of who you are can keep things from moving forward or blossom. Don’t construe this as not putting your best foot forward. It just means be aware of who you are. Don’t forget to that you can pick up the getting the love you want book right here.
Compassion is an element that can be easily mistaken as stupidity or to make it softer naïve. Giving compassion to all human kind is one of the best things to do. Be compassionate towards your would be partner and to yourself. Real compassion shows from the inside out, not the opposite. Compassion can be hidden, but it cannot be faked. Compassion can be used and abused. Be certain that what you are given is not being returned by neediness.
Keep yourself looking decent
In spite of being genuine, one should be keep themselves nice looking. Every ego wants to have on their side someone who is attractive in their eyes. Sometimes this may require make-up and making it a point of dressing nice or in some cases just pulling your hair back. There is no need to present yourself as a beauty queen just as attractive and kempt looking. In time the reality can show.
Be ready to give of yourself
Giving of oneself is difficult. If this is the person giving you the love you want, then one would assume that you have been in some form of relationship with this person. You have begun to learn ways and boundaries, limits and likings of the person inside. After all this should be the basis upon which you know you want their love. Giving of yourself is part of the knowing and sharing. Most people do not give of themselves due to fear. Getting love means giving love. You may want it, but are you ready to receive. Harville Hendrix also offers a getting the love you want workbook so that you can become an expert at keeping your love.
Patience and hearing
Getting the love you want requires patience. Calmness with him/her and endurance for yourself. Without forbearance comes misunderstanding and arguments. Lack of patience allows the petty to come into your relationship and make itself at home. Breathe through the problem with deep cleansing breaths and start again. Listening goes beyond listening,it involves hearing. Don’t listen to answer, listen to hear. Listen with an open mind not so much open ears. Especially listen to what is being said and not what you want to hear. Open your mind to all possibilities.
Getting the love you want is work, not physical work but emotional work. All matters of the heart requires honesty and thought. It opens you up to pain and misery. But, it also can open you up to gratitude and giving without the expectation of receiving something back. Getting the love you want can be rewarding if it is truly what the two of you want.