I have been with my girlfriend in a steady and committed relationship for almost three months now. When we first started dating we were always going to new places and trying new experiences. Things were fun and I always looked forward to seeing her because I never knew what would happen next. I still love being with her but I feel that things have gotten a little flat and predictable. Do you have any relationship suggestions on how to make things interesting again?
Mike from Houston, Texas
Answer – Try These Simple Relationship Suggestions
Thanks for writing in Mike. It is good that you still love being with your girlfriend. It sounds like you are with the right person but just need to try a few simple relationship suggestions to spice things up for you once again. If you implement the following advice you should be as happy as the days when you first met.
Appreciate What You Have
The starting point to getting your relationship back on track is to keep in mind all of the positives about your girlfriend and the relationship you have with her. There is no suggestion here that you only focus on the good points and ignore the things you are dissatisfied about. But if you aim to improve the relationship with the frame of mind that you are improving something good, rather than fixing something bad, you are far more likely to succeed. Do not see her, or your relationship, as something bad that you need to fix. Try and think of your relationship as a masterpiece that you are steadily improving.
You say that you still love your girlfriend and want to be with her. That is great! Be thankful you have a relationship to improve rather than being sad, lonely and single.
Offer Your Relationship Suggestions Carefully
You have decided that the problem is your relationship has become somewhat predictable and lacking in the fun you felt in its earliest stages. The solution, in that case, is to try and mix things up. You can take steps to achieve this by thinking of fun, new places you would both enjoy. Talking to her carefully can also get her input on this issue.
When suggesting ideas to your girlfriend be careful to be positive and not critical. Do not focus on the negative aspect of what you wish to avoid. So do not tell her ‘we do not do…I do not feel etc.’ Instead, make suggestions from a positive perspective. An example would be saying “I would love it if…remember how fun it was when…” and similar phrasing. This will help you both remain positive and upbeat. You may even find she feels the same way.
Accept Things Will Not Always Be Amazing
It is good you want to keep things interesting for you and your girlfriend. This desire needs to be balanced with an acceptance that a relationship changes and matures over the course of time. Although you should always feel some excitement and fun with her the intense passion of the early days cannot be sustained forever. Instead, understand that you will have a deeper, more meaningful connection with her that is enhanced by moments of fun and excitement. If this does not satisfy you then you may find what you really want is the excitement of dating once more rather than a committed relationship.