Relationship advice: Making it work
Have you woken up on the couch the last few mornings? If you and your honey have been fighting like cats and dogs recently, you might need just some good relationship advice. No – you don’t have to sign up for counseling (yet!) but you might need some help. Here are some tips that might just help you two make it through to that next anniversary.
Go ahead and go to bed mad!
Your mother probably always told you to never go to bed angry, right? Well, Mom doesn’t really always know best! There have been actual studies that show that going to bed angry may actually lead to a better resolution. Researchers at the University of California, San Diego noted that many of us solve ongoing problems during REM sleep. So, just had a fight? Hit the sack.
It’s OK to be a little selfish…sometimes
If you don’t love yourself, how can you love anybody else? The mantra packs a pretty powerful punch. Stop putting your spouse’s needs first and start putting yourself in the #1 spot. Better yourself for a happier union – develop your own interests and friendships. This actually can help improve your romantic bond, as you will have additional layers and more depth. In fact, you might even teach each other something!
Let’s do it – fast!
As unromantic as it sounds, a quickie can actually rekindle that fading flame. We all need a little passion in our lives and even short bursts of it can make a difference. During sex, our brains release oxytocin and dopamine, two neurochemicals that trigger feelings of love and desire. In fact, the sex doesn’t even need to be particularly good for these chemicals to get to work!
Keep it between us
It’s never a good idea to hit Twitter or Facebook – or even your bestie on the phone – every time you have a fight with your romantic partner. Sharing too much information with others immediately following a feud or spat can wreak havoc on your relationship. TMI can make your buddies uneasy and just infuriate your partner – so cool off and then talk to each other instead.
Honesty and communication are always the best policy. (And, for best results, go ahead and go to bed for a cycle of REM first!)