Q. My name is Rachel, and I’m 21 years old. Me and my boyfriend has decided to get married in June and we plan to start a family soon. I’m a bit skeptical about getting pregnant at the age of 21. Do you think I should speak to my boyfriend about it? What is the best time to consult a gynecologist for the same? I’m also looking forward for some premarriage tips. Rachel, Seattle.
Answer: A lot of young couples, especially women often feel skeptical about getting pregnant right after the marriage. In our previous premarriage tips section we have already advised about appropriate age and time, when a couple should start planning a family.
In your case, it seems like your boyfriend wants kids soon more than you do. Your paranoia of whether your age is good or not to carry a child is perfectly understandable. But, as a woman, you should know that your body is ready to bear a healthy child as soon as it enters the puberty and once you turn 18, your body becomes completely equipped to deliver a healthy child. Healthy should not be an issue for a woman of your age. Now, the next concern is to communicate your concerns with your boyfriend or would-be husband. Here are some tips that will help you put forward your concerns in an non-offensive manner, without hurting his feelings:
Talk To Him Directly
When it comes to a relationship, like marriage, it is very important for two people to have an open channel of communication. This is the right time to make that channel. Sit face to face and talk to your boyfriend about your feelings and concern. If he loves you, he’ll at least try to understand you.
Involve Someone Trustworthy
If you don’;t know how to put forward your concerns with right set of words, it is advised to involve someone whom you both trust. That someone can be anyone from a friend to a relative, whom you both admire and trust. He/she should be able to help you both understand each other’s point of view in a neutral manner.
Give Him Hints
This is one of the most successful pre marriage tips that has helped a lot of couples eliminate problems without getting into much hassles. All you need is to start giving him hints about what you want to communicate and let him comprehend them correctly. You should wait for him to ask you about your concern so you can let him know what you actually feel.
Go To A Gynecologist
After going through all the pre marriage tips and best couples counseling, if you people still decide to plan a family, it is recommended to take him along for pre-pregnancy tests to make sure everything is alright. A good gynecologist will perform all the necessary tests to determine whether you are a good candidate to conceive at this age, or whether your body needs some more time to get into the act. Pre conception counseling is important for both of you, given your age.
You can also browse articles on your blog directed towards pre marriage tips for early conception and other matters for your other concerns.