I am Tiffany. My boyfriend and I recently moved in together in his apartment in Manhattan. Ever since we started staying together, we have had rough days and we would argue about nearly everything. The only person I can talk to is my mum and sadly, she disapproved of our relationship ever since she knew about Ken. Every time I call her for advice, she would suggest that I leave him and go back home. The thing is, Ken proposed just the other day and I really love him – I want to marry him. Should I listen to my mum? What premarital tips can help me salvage this relationship because I feel like he does not understand me, especially when we argue?
Hello, Tiffany. Arguments are normal to relationships. However, there are some things that a couple can do to prevent such tendencies especially when it comes to arguments over trivial matters. It is also natural that you feel misunderstood in the even that arguments in your relationship have become prevalent. Here are some premarital tips that will help you and your partner maintain a healthy relationship and to have a successful marriage life after.
You are different
Top among all premarital tips is that you have to appreciate your differences if you have to begin understanding each other. The two of you are not only different physically, but also emotionally, psychologically and differences in backgrounds, approach to situations and general outlook on life. The more the two of you learn to appreciate these differences, the stronger your relationship will grow.
Leave and cleave
Most premarital tips will tell you to steer clear of “advice” from family, in-laws or friends that seek to define what happens in your relationship. This may bring about grave differences between you and your partner. Decide that you will not allow anyone to dictate affairs of your relationship whether they are related or otherwise. However, it is ok to acknowledge that every couple or partner has other relationships- parents, in-laws and even children, but none of these other relationships should be allowed to influence your relationship.
Every relationship has its own challenges and hard days. Relationships may sometimes prove to be dynamic affairs in which the couple may experience sudden changes and unexpected turn of events. For instance before a couple has its first argument, they would not in a thousand years have expected that it would happen. So, always be on your guard as anything and everything is possible. The fact that you had anticipated or accepted that it is normal will make its eventuality less shocking. This would mean that you would easily be able to heal or pick up the pieces and move forward.
Put Christ first
Perhaps this would be the most important of all premarital tips that can help in saving any relationship or marriage. The two of you may and will experience challenges that will be too big or complex for you to handle on your own. Seeking guidance from a higher power can do you a world of good. They say a chord of three strands is not easily broken. Fortifying your relationship with Christ will often help strengthen the relationship with your partner.